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Disclaimer: This post may piss some people off, let me assure you, that is NOT my intention. I think this is very important and needs to be addressed. These are MY opinions only and if they happen to offend anyone, I am truly sorry.
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I’m stunned. I honestly am. I wasn’t planning on posting today but something just happened that made me feel the need to do so immediately. You all know by now how much I love love Instagram (IG). I’d just as soon do all my “social networking” on IG only and be happy. One of the things I love so much is when people I follow suggest other people to follow. It gets me so excited and I look them up and stalk follow them right away and get some Insta-motivation! I don’t want to mention any specific names in this post but this morning a user that I follow suggested people follow another user, an inspirational girl who has made great strides in her weight loss goal. I checked her out and saw a message she had posted about a “pro-ana” IG accounts. This kind of shocked me. I had seen some “thinspo” stuff on Pinterest before but nothing too crazy (although I know it exists) and the thought somehow never occurred to me that it would be on IG as well. Ignorance is bliss, huh?? So, curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on one of her hashtags and omg….my heart dropped instantly…all the way to the floor.
These girls, these faceless hopeless girls desperately seeking love and acceptance, they just broke my heart. The hundreds of thousands of images of young girls in their underwear with protruding hipbones and idolizing the famous actresses with admitted eating disorders. And let’s not forget the suicidal messages, goodbye notes and texts, pictures of hospitalized teens with their arms cut and wrapped. I can’t get the images out of my mind. And all the comments, the cries for help, I know will haunt me.
I’m not going to post any images here as my intention is not to glorify ED’s. I’m still unsure whether I should even publish this post because I don’t want to inadvertently contribute to anyone’s disease but I feel this is so important that I really wanted to maybe raise some awareness.
EVERY woman hates her body at some point in her life. Every single one. If you say you never have then you’re probably lying. I do not have an eating disorder. I never did, thankfully. But I know people that do or have and I’ve met even more through this blogging world now and every single one of them is drop-dead gorgeous!!! But they can’t see it…their disease blinds them. I think many women (myself included) have been on a “slippery slope” in regard to their weight and body image at some point. Most of us are lucky enough to have come out okay on the other end. But then there are those who are not so lucky. They feel alone, that no one understands them and they are desperately seeking a sense of “community” and empathy for what they are going through. Unfortunately they can now find that everywhere online. From blogs to chatrooms and now especially from social media sites like Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram. These people are trying to support one another but in my opinion it ends up contributing to the problem.
If you see these accounts, please don’t take it upon yourself to start bashing them and giving them “tough love”. They need your support and your love. Not your judgement and your ridicule. These are diseases, not choices.
THIS is why it’s so incredibly important to teach your children good habits about a healthy lifestyle. THIS is why we have such a responsibility as parents, teachers, friends, to teach by example, to lead healthy lifestyles so our children don’t grow up with these distorted views of beuty and perfection. THIS is one of my greatest fears for my daughter. That she won’t know how beautiful and perfect she really is. That she won’t be able to see it. That she will live in silent pain of depression and self-loathing and feel that the only support she can find is in an anonymous internet.
I just want to hug them. Every one of them and make them see how beautiful they are inside and out. I want to help them learn to love themselves and their bodies. I feel so blessed to have finally found my love for health and wellness and I don’t know how else to help people find theirs other than this blog.
The pictures of the bones and the cutting and the utter desperation…There are some things that you see that affect you profoundly and this is one of them. Just the extreme number of users is upsetting enough not to mention the captions of the pictures, the envy people express over them and even the user names themselves. Again, I won’t mention some of the specific ones I saw but they gave me tears in my eyes.
Please. If you know of anyone, girl, boy, adult, anyone that is suffering, please help. The hatred of these diseases know no limits. The eating disorders, the depression, the guilt, the shame it’s just so very sad to see someone in so much pain.
I wanted to share a couple of devastating statistics I found. (these are from the ANAD website I’ve linked below).
• Almost 50% of people with eating disorders meet the criteria for depression.1
• Only 1 in 10 men and women with eating disorders receive treatment. Only 35% of people that receive treatment for eating disorders get treatment at a specialized facility for eating disorders.2
• Up to 24 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder) in the U.S.3
• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.4
This is really scary stuff. Take a look at this article which really explains in more detail the definition of pro-ana, pro-mia, and pro-ED (pro-anorexia, pro-bulemia, pro-eating disorders) websites and social media accounts. The study they talk about is particularly disturbing to me.
If you think you might have an eating disorder or know someone who does, you can visit The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders for more information. And please talk to someone…a parent, friend, teacher, neighbor, counselor. If you feel that you have no one, then talk to me…I’m always here if you need me, it may take me a little bit to get back to you, but I will, I promise. I’m no expert, but I will do anything I can to help. Please don’t let yourself suffer alone!
I could write about this forever and I am deeply moved by what I’ve seen today but I will leave you with this picture. You ARE beautiful, yes you. God made us all beautiful, please let’s stop hating ourselves and hating each other. Let’s help people treat their bodies and their lives with love and respect.
I could write about this forever and I am deeply moved by what I’ve seen today but I will leave you with this picture. You ARE beautiful, yes you. God made us all beautiful, please let’s stop hating ourselves and hating each other. Let’s help people treat their bodies and their lives with love and respect.
I’d love to hear your opinions on this subject….but please…only love here…I will delete anything mean spirited. xoxo
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This post makes me super sad. Such a scary thing! And our society and celebrities don’t help at all…the women they portray are all super skinny and what’s bad is that a lot of the pictures in magazines are airbrushed and those women don’t even look like that! Such a sad thing for young women.
I know Mindy, it makes me sad and it makes me angry…I feel like our children don’t stand a chance in this world…thanks for reading!
I have seen those accounts too and it makes my heart hurt. Well written girl!
It really does. Best way to describe it…thanks so much!
This really saddens me – I never considered that these kinds of sites would even exist. I have 4 daughters, and I hope and pray I am giving them the kind of support that they need to be able to avoid these kinds of issues in their lives. I hope that by having a kind, nurturing, accepting father (me) and mother will help them, as well as letting them know how beautiful they are ALL the time, no matter what.
Michael it sure sounds to me like you’re on the right track with them! The thing that really struck me is that most of these girls said they hid their problems from their parents and also that these IG accounts were hidden from them as well! The best thing we can do is stay close with them and always make sure we know what they are doing…and everything you’ve mentioned as well, of course…they are lucky to have you!
oh gosh those sites kill me. from someone who has struggled in the past I know how sick those girls are and how desperate they become.
Yes, that’s what I saw..just so much desperation….
Thanks for sharing your thoughts – open and honest. The pro-ana stuff is sad and scary. I love your “beautiful” image. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you so much, Sarah! I appreciate it!
This makes my heart hurt. I haven’t seen any of those accounts on IG. I don’t even know where to begin with this. I think that you’ve said it all.
I’ll be honest. I’ll probably look again, I don’t know why I do that to myself I feel like I think I need to be more informed and prepared so I know what to watch for with my own children. Thanks for reading!
This post made me tear up. Amazing post. I’ve been on that slippery slope and am so thankful I did come out on the bright side. Didn’t know this stuff existed on IG yet. So sad.
I’m so glad to hear that, Erin, truly. I know how close I’ve been at times in the past and I know, of course, it was never actually about my body and always about something else going on in my life at the time. I’m so fortunate to have a great support system and I hope you did/do as well! Thank you for your comment xo
I have never seen those accounts and will not be seeking out because I have and still do struggle with an ED – I know they could be triggering. But honestly, even beyond those accounts, Instagram is sometimes just way too body focused. I find it to be a triggering place sometimes even when just looking through my blog friends’ photos. Not to say that IG users need to watch everything they post for triggers for those with EDs. Triggers are something I have to learn to deal with. But there is definitely a bad side of Instagram and I applaud you for writing a post that brings awareness to that bad side. And your compassion and non-judgmental attitude toward these girls is also inspiring because so often, I feel that people with EDs are judged as “vain” or “dumb” for doing what they do to “look good”. That’s not the case and I can see that you recognize this. So thanks for sharing your concern, caring for your fellow women (and men!), and keeping it real. <3
Cait! I had no idea…I agree with IG, even for someone not struggling it’s sometimes a little overwhelming at times, so in theory I get it. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, thank you so much for reading and even more for sharing your story! I’m always here if you ever need to vent! xo
Beautiful post. Raw, honest – everything it should be. So impressed. I can feel your passion and emotion through it, love! You’re so wise and your daughter is so lucky to have such an amazing mother. When I babysit girls, I try to emphasize how smart, funny, and creative they are…attributes that are internal instead of external. <3
I’m really glad that you posted this! I’ve alluded to the same issue in a couple of posts and, having suffered from and overcome an ED, can see that Instagram can be a BIG trigger. While I haven’t seen any pro-ana stuff, I AM getting sick of seeing people with their Polar watches with how many kcals they’ve burned and the fat %. It’s useless information for the general public; it sets a competitive tone that doesn’t really need to be there. Because, at the end of the day, people who are perfectly healthy should exercise for the enjoyment – not the for the fat burn.
Sending so much love your way and, as always, to all of those poor girls suffering from EDs.
Heather, what a great idea with the babysitting, I try to remind myself to do the same…I’m constantly telling my daughter how pretty she is but you’re right, it’s even more important to focus on the inside as well. I’m so happy to hear that you’ve overcome your ED, but I know how some people close to me that are in recovery for substance abuse have the same trouble. They may be “recovered” but it remains an ongoing battle for them. I can see how troubling IG could be in your situation…I admire your courage and Caits, to be so active on IG in spite of what you both just told me! Thanks so much for sharing, I’m sure you have many others you could turn to, but if you even need anything you know where to find me!! xo
i love you even more for posting this. I am still learning about IF and this THINSPO is just scary. Scary that our society is focusing on it. Way to stand up against it!
Awww thanks, Lindsay! That’s so sweet
Yes, so so scary, don’t even know how to describe it. I feel like if more people knew how prevalent it really is then maybe they’d be able to get a better handle on it…thank you for reading!!! <3
Thanks so much for posting. Your heartfelt words are sure to reach those in need. It’s a terrible, heart wrenching disease. XO
Thanks for reading momma!! xoxo
This is such a horrible thing for anyone to deal with and I felt you wrote about the topic in a very loving way. I grew up with an ED and I still do battle with it often. I have never loved my body, no matter how skinny I was… It’s a constant battle.
I did a research paper on multimedia and today’s children and so many of the facts scared me. Our children are faced with so many conflicting things, a lot of back and forth. Fast food is everywhere now days and most children eat it on a daily basis. This leads to obesity, poor skin and other health problems. But then, you have tv and magazines pushing this image of perfect in their faces. Sadly, most people don’t realize that 90% of what you see in magazines and on tv is not real. Being a photographer and working with a modeling agency, I watched some of the most beautiful women get turned into something so fake. The media really hypes up everything and pushes these images into the heads of our future, and they think they need to live up to that.
Kids today are far more mean than when we were in school. If you don’t look “perfect”, dress in the hottest fashion or know the latest fads, you are tortured everyday. I went through high school miserable. I was called a dog, people put dog bones in my locker and barked at me when I walked down the halls. I was made fun of for wearing the clothes I wore and had gum thrown in my hair quite often because it was purple. But the kids now, are far worse. Making fun, hitting, causing pure embarrassment and hatred of epic proportions. And technology has only made it worse. Kids will hop on fb and share a picture of the “outcasted” kid and everyone will poke fun and say horrible things. In the end, so much hurt and pain can cause ED, mental breakdowns and even suicide.
It’s a shame that our children are growing up thinking that they need to be a certain way to be liked. I know what I went through in school and I don’t ever want my daughter to feel that way. I tell her everyday how beautiful she is. I remind her how special she is and she is perfect the way she is. I think it’s so important to explain to our kids that these standards set are not a reality at all. I have taught my kids to love everyone… black or white, skinny or large, short or tall. I have taught them to try to find the beauty in everyone they meet and to accept everyone as a fellow human being. Also, I always tell them to treat others as they would want to be treated.
The best we can do, is to love them unconditionally and help them stand tall, even if everyone else is trying to bring them down.
Ahh, this comment made me cry all over again! I am so hypersensitive to bullying b/c of past experiences and those of some close to me and, of course, all the rest of the horror stories out there. Absolutely heartbreaking…thank you for sharing and it saddens me to hear what you went through. Sounds like you’re a wonderful Mother and teaching your kids the most important lessons. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!
Excellent post. I am so glad you put this out there! I know what you are talking about and have been sucked in looking at some of the images, one after another, just in shock and hurting for them. It is a true pandemic and it starts to end with us, telling our children they are beautiful, not on the outside only, but inside too. We must give our children room to grow and learn, every time they learn a new skill they build their self-esteem. Every time they mess up and we don’t belittle or break them down, we teach them that they are ok, just the way they are. We must allow our children to learn and grow by loving them, simply for being them. <3
Beautifully said!!! Great advice..thank you so much for commenting!!
This is such a great post! All social media have some form of ED related posts and it upsets me so much. I am defintely someone who is obsessed with being healthy.. however, there is a fine line between wanting to be healthy and finding the joy in the process and just starving yourself and/or spending countless hours at the gym to look like someone who you THINK looks better than you. We as human beings are born to be critical of ourselves.. we need to spend MORE time overcoming than succumbing to self hate!
You are an inspiration.. keep it up!
Thanks, Rayva! You are so right…these mediums are so great but that’s the downfall for sure. Sometimes I really just wish we could go back to a much simpler time…seems so much safer for everyone. I feel like being so busy and pulled in a million different directions helps keep me from getting TOO focused on fitness and my body image. And for that, I’m actually thankful. I hope you continue to find the joy in the process…thank you for reading!! xoxo
LOVED this post! What a great message of loving your body and urging others not to criticize but reach out and offer help.
Thanks Chelsey! I hope others took that away from this post as well…thanks for reading! xo
Wow. Very intense. Great share.
Thank you for reading, appreciate it!!!
wow I didn’t even know this stuff was on instagram. I don’t follow many people and the people I do I know or are celebrities. shocking!
Yeah I hear you, I was shocked too!! I honestly pray that others who may be really affected by it don’t know it exists either! xo
Thanks for posting this Kristin. Your heart is so sweet! I’ve seen good friends controlled by ED’s & watched them waste away. I’m so thankful they’re in recovery & learning to love themselves! It may take awhile, but fighting to love yourself despite all the “You could be better” messages out there is worthwhile & ATTAINABLE.
1 thought ~ My great concern about this issue (which I’ve struggled with much of my life) is the belief that the person being controlled by it doesn’t have a choice – because they do.
Eating disorders are an issue of control. They are not incurable diseases. God can & has set women/men free from these struggles! I am walking, living proof. This issue is so near & dear to my heart b/c of my struggles since I was a little girl & from watching numerous best friends walk this dangerous line. Yes, our culture BOMBARDS us women with very strong messages about “who” we should be & “what” we should look like. But our HOPE is that we can choose – every day, with God’s grace – to stop the negative mental chatter & focus on our positive attributes (our personalities, humor, kindness & generosity), “God’s made me curvy & beautiful”, “I have strong arms/legs” etc. Sounds hokey but it’s effective
This has been one of the most freeing journeys of my life, & it started when I began to take personal responsibility for my thought patterns. I learned it IS a choice. I used to think I’d always feel negatively about myself, but God has given us the freedom to choose & one of those choices is whether or not we will love ourselves the way we’re packaged & not compare ourselves w/ other people.
These things have helped me:
-Learning to not judge others based on appearance & refusing to judge myself the same way
-Accepting myself as I am (while striving for health in every way)
-Being grateful for all the blessings I HAVE been given
-Reaching out for support from people w/ HEALTHY mindsets about food/ bodies/ women
-Turning off TV/Facebook & tossing magazines (this has been HUGE!!)
-Accepting reality that no one can make me love myself (incl. my wonderful hubby!)
I’m growing in each area & falter, but it’s kick-started my journey to freedom.
The only way to take back control of our eating & life is to release others from the expectation of making us feel better about ourselves. We’re the only ones who can give ourselves self-acceptance (by definition), & God is the only one who can perfectly meet our need to be loved
I’m in NO way bashing young ladies who are struggling with these VERY REAL, VERY debilitating, VERY controlling thoughts and lifestyles. I UNDERSTAND. It is such a desperate & lonely place to be & reaching out for help is essential! But we cannot hand over the reins of our freedom to other people b/c this puts us on a lifelong yo-yo & makes us dependent on them for our happiness.
By taking ownership of our role in contributing to our body/ food struggles & releasing others from their judgments of us (real or perceived), we step back into control of our lives. This is not mere “self-help”, but our problem can’t be solved if we keep fueling it. We also need help with our weaknesses, so sharing them w/ others & asking God for grace every time is invaluable. God is our “very present help in time of need”. MANY times I’ve talked w/ Him thruout meals, which has led to so much freedom about food & my body!! And once we stop beating ourselves up mentally, we start caring for ourselves better & LOOKING better! Amazing! Our goals are accomplished not w/ punishment but w/ love. “You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar”
I hope this inspires other young ladies to start taking steps to loving themselves. This isn’t just feel-good info. It’s changed my life.
Thanks Kristin for listening, your inspiration & caring about others so much!
-Summer
Summer! Thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly! I appreciate you taking the time to also give so much advice to anyone that might be reading this that could use it..I’m really glad to hear you doing so well! xoxo